As part of Diversity Week and Coming Out Day, our university secretary, Eric van der Geer-Rutten-Rijswijk, is eager to support anyone struggling with their orientation. He shares his coming out story and emphasizes the importance of choosing your moment. "Share it when it feels right for you, whether you come out now or not. Follow your path, be yourself, and know that we accept you as you are."
Secretary of the university Eric van der Geer has no problem talking about his private life. He has been with the love of his life, Pieter, for about 23 years and has been married for more than 18. "I'm very open about that and bring my whole personality to our university. The very traits I used to struggle with are now my strength in my work as the university secretary." More on that later.
Different
"In adolescence, I noticed that I was different. I was more sensitive and didn't move with the crowd. I didn't fit in the same 'box' as many of my peers and was even bullied by some. They thought they had me figured out before I did. Besides, it can feel lonely when no one knows who you really are or about an important part of you."
It can feel lonely when no one knows who you really are.
Secretary of the university Eric van der Geer
When he came out of the closet, Van der Geer was 20 years old. "I took the time to first discover for myself who I am; then I shared it in stages. I started with my mother. She responded, as expected, in a very loving and caring manner. Not everyone is that lucky."
In steps
After his mother, the rest of his family followed. "Afterwards, I again took some time to process that step, then I told my friends and fellow students. It felt so good to receive support, to have people stand by you."
His coming out felt liberating. "It gave me back control and made me stronger. This is me; if you can't deal with that, so be it. Since then, I've no longer feared what people think of me. If I end up in a situation where I can't be myself, I step out. And I express that too."
My coming out gave me back control and made me stronger.
Secretary of the university Eric van der Geer
Those deliberate steps worked for him, but Van der Geer emphasizes that everyone should do it in their own way or at their own pace and decide who they share it with. "It takes courage to take that first step. Choose your own moment and manner of doing so. Coming Out Day [Friday, October 11, ed.] can be an appropriate moment for that, but it doesn't have to be. You decide."
Engagement as strength
The traits that once made Van der Geer feel 'different' are now his strengths in his role as university secretary. "Thanks to my sensitivity, I can read situations very well. I can listen between the lines and am good at interpreting body language. I never make assumptions; I learned that the hard way. When something needs to be addressed, I focus on the tasks and work, never on the person. I respect everyone's individuality and try to connect people."
"I'm convinced that diverse teams are strong teams. They bring a unique mix of knowledge, skills, and abilities. The traits that make you unique are tapped into here. And in that way, you can move forward together more effectively."
Embracing
Although Van der Geer feels safe and accepted in his life and at our university, he has an acute awareness that this is not true for everyone. "Acceptance of people who are different is declining nationwide and globally. It hurts me when I see and read about how people are turning against minorities. It's the opposite of what you should do with a minority: you should stand by them and embrace them. That's what makes you stronger as a community."
Our rainbow flag shows that it's okay to be different here. That's an important symbol for many in our community.
Secretary of the university Eric van der Geer
Van der Geer believes that it remains a necessity to actively display symbols related to the LGBTQA+ community on our campus. "With a flag, the colored picnic tables, or a rainbow path, we show that we embrace diversity. For many Dutch people, it may seem redundant, but it's still very important for many in our community. By doing that, we show that it's okay to be different here."
