Despite being a natural act, many people still feel awkward and embarrassed about masturbation. So, why does this topic make so many of us feel uncomfortable? The past can offer clues.
Author
- Chantal Gautier
Senior Lecturer in Psychology and Sex and Relationship Therapist, University of Westminster
Throughout history , views on self-pleasure vary. Egyptians saw masturbation as sacred. Greeks viewed it as natural but not something to celebrate. And Romans considered it inferior to sex with a partner.
In medieval Europe, masturbation was labelled sinful and harmful . But 20th-century scholars, including sexologists Alfred Kinsey and Shere Hite , challenged negative perceptions and helped normalise masturbation.
However, the stigma attached to masturbation is stubborn and negative attitudes persist. Attitudes that it's dirty, shameful or even harmful to touch yourself sexually are often shaped by conflicting messages rooted in societal norms , religious doctrines and inadequate sex education .
Masturbation remains taboo - some people consider it an unnatural act because it has no reproductive purpose. This negative belief can be bad for health if it contributes to psychological distress, including feelings of guilt and shame caused by ingrained condemnation.
However, through my experience as a sex therapist and psychology researcher, I understand how openly discussing masturbation with clients has been incredibly beneficial for their mental health. The more we talk about it, the easier it becomes to unravel those shame-filled thoughts. The key is creating a safe and non-judgmental space that encourages self-acceptance and understanding of what makes us tick.
For one thing, masturbation can be surprisingly educational when it comes to appreciating your body. It's not just about pleasure; it's about self-discovery and understanding your sexual response and anatomy while accepting that vulvas and penises come in all shapes and sizes .
Masturbation offers a safe, judgment-free way to explore and understand your body without any risk of pregnancy or STIs. It allows you to try out what feels good and what doesn't - essentially getting to know your own pleasure map. It's also a great way to experiment with sex toys.
Connecting with your body, including your genitalia, can also help you feel more at ease in your own skin and boost your confidence. Understanding what works for you can feel liberating.
It also makes it easier to communicate your needs and desires to others. By empowering yourself, you can take charge of your sexual experiences and fully embrace ownership of your body.
In sex therapy, masturbation is often included as a therapeutic tool. For example, clients may be asked to engage in masturbation exercises.
This could involve using techniques such as mindfulness to focus on sensations that help them reconnect, by turning their attention to their body and understanding what sensations lead to pleasure. So solo sex helps promote body awareness, which can be especially beneficial for anyone experiencing difficulty with orgasm.
The stop-start technique is another method used in sex therapy to help with issues like premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. It is designed to help people gain greater control, particularly with orgasm and erection management. Here, too, the focus is on the sensations of touch and for the client to build awareness of their sexual responses.
And, with masturbation, there's no need to worry about anyone else's expectations or feel any pressure about sexual performance. So sexual self-pleasure is a positive, safe way to explore the body without feeling rushed or self-conscious.
Masturbation is also associated with other health benefits. For some, it can reduce stress and promote sleep . During masturbation and orgasm, hormones such as oxytocin (sometimes called the "love hormone") and endorphins are released. Both play a role in enhancing mood and feelings of relaxation.
Research has even found that men who ejaculate 21 or more times a month have a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer.
How much is too much?
As a sex and relationship therapist, I am often asked: "How much masturbation is too much?" There is no right answer to that.
Masturbation can be a healthy way to seek pleasure and for some people to cope with emotions like stress. However, if it becomes the primary or only means of emotional regulation, it may start to feel compulsive.
When this leads to a sense of loss of control, emotional distress or negative effects on daily life, it can be an issue. In these instances, sexual compulsivity attempts to resolve unmet needs, whether they are sexual, emotional or relational.
Psychosexual therapy is an effective, sex-positive and inclusive approach that helps clients develop a wider range of strategies for managing emotions, not just masturbation.
As we move toward a more inclusive and open understanding of sexuality, self-pleasure may one day be recognised not as something to feel guilty or ashamed about but as a natural form of self-expression. Until then, it remains a powerful act of self-love.
Chantal Gautier does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
