WASHINGTON -- If you've ever wondered whether your parents secretly had a favorite child, they might have. Parents may be more inclined to confer the "favorite child award" to daughters and children who are agreeable and conscientious, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.
"For decades, researchers have known that differential treatment from parents can have lasting consequences for children," said lead author Alexander Jensen, PhD, an associate professor at Brigham Young University. "This study helps us understand which children are more likely to be on the receiving end of favoritism, which can be both positive and negative."
The research was published in the journal Psychological Bulletin.
The study examined the link between children's characteristics and differences in how their parents treat them, while considering potential moderators such as child age, parent gender and measurement methods.
The researchers conducted a meta-analysis of 30 peer-reviewed journal articles and dissertations/theses, along with 14 databases, encompassing a total of 19,469 participants. They examined how birth order, gender, temperament and personality traits (extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness and neuroticism) were linked to parental favoritism.
Parents can show favoritism in numerous ways, including how they interact with their children, how much money they spend on them and how much control they exert over them, the researchers said. Altogether, they looked at five domains: overall treatment, positive interactions, negative interactions, resource allocation and control.
The researchers initially thought that mothers would tend to favor daughters and fathers would favor sons. However, the study found that both mothers and fathers were more likely to favor daughters.
Of the personality traits evaluated, children who were conscientious -- meaning they were responsible and organized -- also appeared to receive more favorable treatment. This suggests that parents may find these children easier to manage and may respond more positively. Jensen said he was surprised that extraversion was not associated with favoritism.
"Americans seem to particularly value extraverted people, but within families it may matter less," he said.
When it came to birth order, parents were more likely to give older siblings greater autonomy, possibly because they were more mature, according to Jensen.
The researchers also examined whether parent-child relationships were influenced by other factors, such as the child's age, the parent's gender, or how favoritism was measured. They found that these factors might play a role, but if they did it was minimal, highlighting the complexity of parental favoritism.
Siblings who receive less favored treatment tend to have poorer mental health and more strained family relationships, according to Jensen.
"Understanding these nuances can help parents and clinicians recognize potentially damaging family patterns," he said. "It is crucial to ensure all children feel loved and supported."
The researchers said they hope their findings will encourage parents to be more aware of their biases and strive to treat all their children fairly.
"It is important to note that this research is correlational, so it doesn't tell us why parents favor certain children," Jensen said. "However, it does highlight potential areas where parents may need to be more mindful of their interactions with their children."
"So, the next time you're left wondering whether your sibling is the golden child, remember there is likely more going on behind the scenes than just a preference for the eldest or youngest. It might be about responsibility, temperament or just how easy or hard you are to deal with," he said.
Article: " Parents Favor Daughters: A Meta-Analysis of Gender and Other Predictors of Parental Differential Treatment ," by Alexander Jensen, PhD, Brigham Young University and McKell Jorgensen-Wells, MS, Western University. Psychological Bulletin, published online Jan. 16, 2025.
