A new study, by researchers from Lancaster University and the University of British Columbia (UBC) in Canada, has uncovered considerable 'sexual inconsistency' between people's sexual identity or attraction and whether they are in a same-sex or different-sex relationship.
The research, co-authored by Professor Yang Hu, of Lancaster University, and published this week in Sociological Science reveals profound consequences of sexual inconsistency for relationship satisfaction and stability.
Many people assume that sexual identity, attraction and partnership naturally align.
But the research, drawing on data from more than 3,500 adults in the United States tracked between 2017 and 2022, paints a much more complicated picture.
Approximately 41 per cent of women in same-sex relationships experience some form of identity or attraction inconsistency; that is, they feel an attraction to people other than women. Meanwhile, in different-sex partnerships, about three per cent of men report same-sex attraction, and two per cent identify as not straight.
This phenomenon is widespread, cutting across all relationship types and demographics.
"It is important to emphasise that if people experience sexual inconsistency, it does not mean they are confused or not serious about their sexuality," said Professor Hu. "Rather, the inconsistency reflects the complex nature of human sexuality."
"This inconsistency between individuals' sexual identity or attraction and the type of partnership they are in is an understudied and often 'hidden' phenomenon."
The study also underscores the impact of these sexual inconsistencies. People with inconsistencies between their sexual identity or attraction and partnership type reported lower relationship quality.
Men in different-sex relationships who reported same-sex attraction or identified as not straight were particularly affected, with their relationship satisfaction scores dropping 0.4 to 0.5 points on a five-point scale. The odds of their relationships ending were 1.8 to 2.2 times higher than those without these inconsistencies.
"The strain likely comes from long-standing social rules about how different-sex relationships are 'supposed' to be," said co-author of the study, Professor Yue Qian of UBC.
"Society has established expectations for how different-sex couples should behave, but less so for same-sex unions as they have just gained legal and social recognition in recent decades," she said. "Especially if we think about men, their heterosexuality tends to be closely regulated by rigid societal expectations."
For women, the story was slightly different. Women in different-sex relationships were much more likely than men to experience attraction inconsistency, at 11 per cent vs. three per cent, but the impact on their relationship stability was less severe. This could be attributed to societal double standards that tend to allow greater flexibility in women's sexuality compared to men's.
The experiences of bisexual people often fall through the cracks, but they accounted for a significant portion of the inconsistency. Among those in different-sex partnerships, four per cent of women and two per cent of men identified as bisexual, and 10 per cent of women and three per cent of men reported bisexual attraction.
Bisexual respondents reported lower relationship satisfaction and had higher breakup rates than their straight counterparts in different-sex relationships or gay/lesbian counterparts in same-sex relationships. This finding seems to suggest unique challenges bisexual people can face in navigating relationships within society's binary framework.
"There is a tension between popular understanding of relationships in our society and the diversity of human sexuality," said Professor Qian. "Legislation, for example, often classifies relationships into either a same-sex relationship or a different-sex relationship, but human sexuality is much more complex than the straight-gay binary."
The authors highlight the importance of supportive environments for those grappling with inconsistencies.
