Study Reveals Why Many Older Adult Couples Live Apart

Published in the Journal of Family Issues, this new research found that in the UK, around four per cent of over 60s are in a relationship where they're living apart but together (LAT), which is comparable to that in other countries such as the United States, Netherlands, and Canada. When over 60s form a new relationship, LAT is by far the most popular relationship destination.

For single women over 60, LAT is 10 times more likely than cohabitation or marriage as a relationship destination, and it is about 10 times more likely than marriage and nearly 20 times more likely than cohabitation for older men.

According to the study, over 60s enjoy living in different households while maintaining a steady intimate relationship with each other which benefits their mental health. Although the mental health benefits of marriage and cohabitation are widely documented, this is the first national study of its kind looking at how LAT relates to older adults' mental health.

LAT offers a balanced option for older adults seeking to enter a partnership: marginally lesser gain in mental health but far less exposure to risk.

Until now, the perception has been that LAT is more popular among younger people and that older people tend to prefer more 'conventional' relationship types such as marriage and cohabitation. The study adds additional details about the intimate relationships among older adults.

Lead author Professor Rory Coulter (UCL Geography) said: "When we think about intimate partnerships, we often focus on couples who live under the same roof, but our study draws attention to the complex life circumstances in older age and the importance of intimate relationships that stretch across households."

The study draws on data from the United Kingdom Household Longitudinal Study and follows changes over a decade from 2011 to 2023.

The researchers focused on mental health measures within the survey that capturing both negative mental distress (for example if a person feels lonely, sad, depressed/downhearted) and positive mental well-being (for example if a person feels energetic, useful, able to face up to problems) among older adults.

Compared with single over 60s, older adults who LAT experience lower mental distress and better mental well-being, and the mental health premium associated with LAT is comparable to that associated with marriage and cohabitation.

When it comes to relationship changes, moving into LAT is associated with a slightly smaller mental health improvement than moving into marriage or cohabitation.

Those moving out of a marriage, cohabitation or LAT experience a decrease in mental health, the study shows. But for those moving out of LAT, the mental health impact is far smaller than moving out of a marriage or cohabitation.

Avoiding complex 'decoupling', such as moving out, dividing property and undergoing divorce proceedings, may, suggests the study, be a major reason why many older adults prefer LAT as a long-term arrangement, particularly given the complex family relationships and responsibilities they often juggle in later life.

The study also shows that LAT provides a more gender-egalitarian way for older women and men to access mental health benefits through intimate relationships. While previous research found that marriage and cohabitation tend to entail greater mental health benefits for men than for women, older women and men are found to benefit similarly from LAT in their mental health.

Co-author Professor Yang Hu of Lancaster University said: "While societies and governments have long emphasised the importance of building strong households for the well-being of individuals, our findings highlight the value of going beyond the household as a default 'building block' of families and societies.

"It's time we see and recognise the strength of often invisible intimate ties beyond the household in sustaining older adults' well-being."