Getting ripped takes effort. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson didn't get to look the way he does by sitting on the sofa with a packet of Doritos propped up on his pecs. It took years of sweat, pain and sacrifice.
Many men (not all of us, though, it should be noted) would love to be as buff as The Rock. Some, however, aren't willing to put in the hours at the gym and are looking for a get-hench-quick scheme. And while there are shortcuts, they always come at a cost.
One well-known shortcut is the misuse of anabolic steroids. They have restricted legitimate uses - testosterone replacement for men with hypogonadism, for instance. But there is a black market in these drugs, and some bodybuilders consider the risks of misusing anabolic steroids worth it if it means bigger (and therefore better) muscles.
And there are many and serious risks. In men, shrunken testicles, erectile dysfunction, hair loss, severe acne and enlarged breasts can develop. In women, they include facial hair growth, a deeper voice, breast shrinkage and problems with periods.
And both men and women are at increased risk of kidney and liver failure, and cardiovascular conditions, such as strokes, heart attacks and life-threatening arrhythmias (irregular heartbeat).
They can also affect people's mental health, causing mood swings, paranoia and aggression.
A much quicker - but equally ill-advised - shortcut for massive guns (but not gains) involves injecting an oil called "synthol" directly into muscles to instantly bulk them up - rather like inflating a balloon. This process is known colloquially as "fluffing".
Synthol is a mixture of oil (85% - sometimes sesame, walnut, or paraffin), lidocaine (7.5% - a local anaesthetic) and benzyl alcohol (7.5%).
The alcohol is said to be there for sterilisation purposes (supposedly), while the lidocaine helps reduce the pain after injection. The oil itself acts as the bulking agent. Common injection sites include the triceps, biceps, deltoids, pecs and calf muscles.
The results are alarming. To borrow writer Clive James's phrase, synthol users look like a "condom full of walnuts". To professional bodybuilders, the difference between real muscles and synthol muscles is "comically obvious".
And while the muscles might look bulkier, the results are purely cosmetic. You won't be able to lift anything heavier than you could before an injection. In fact, there's a good chance your muscles will be worse off, as you could damage the fibres or restrict their movement.
A heavy price
Once the anaesthetic effects of the lidocaine have worn off, pain sets in. This can last for a couple of days after the injection has been administered and is made worse by activating the muscle. If the needle damages a nerve, the pain could be permanent.
It is also not unusual for the injection sites to become infected, causing inflammation and pus-filled cysts. Reusing needles to inject is a sure-fire way to increase the risk of developing an infection. This is far from trivial. If bacteria manage to reach the bloodstream, a dangerous complication called septicaemia (blood poisoning) may ensue, which can be fatal.
If a blood vessel were accidentally hit or injected, things could get uglier still. Then you're looking at a potential pulmonary or cerebral embolism (blocked blood vessels in the lung or brain), which can also be deadly.
Sometimes, synthol causes such extensive scarring that the muscle dies and needs to be surgically removed.
Quick fix but long-term problems
Synthol remains in the muscles for a surprisingly long time - the body doesn't easily reabsorb the oil. Effects are known to last for three to five years. This might give you the insta-muscles you desired, but not so good if you're horrified by the results and want them to return to their former state.
Also, after a few years, gravity will have taken its toll and your oil-bloated muscles will have sagged - making them look even more bizarre.
And it's not just men who are turning to synthol for a quick fix. In 2021, doctors reported the case of a woman who used synthol for buttock augmentation. She subsequently developed granulomas (clusters of white blood cells) in her buttocks and lungs. This triggered a rise in her blood calcium. At high levels, this can cause kidney stones, abdominal pain and serious cardiac arrhythmia.
Despite all of these terrible side-effects - and extremely dubious benefits - synthol is not illegal. Indeed, a google search will return dozens of vendors, often selling their product as "posing oil". And many internet forums for bodybuilder manqués are full of medical-sounding but potentially dangerous advice on how to administer synthol.
For both synthol and anabolic steroid use, the long list of hazards and complications far outweigh the benefits. As the saying goes, there's no such thing as a free lunch. If you want impressive muscles, you've got to put in the work. Just ask The Rock.